Gary Stu alphabet
by Yuyake no Okami
Summary: After the unexpected success of the Mary Sue alphabet, here you go the Gary Stu version: read about the worse both sexes can come up when writing OCs! NOW FIXED


A/N:

Yuyake no Okami: asdfghjkl- *hyperventilating *

Toon Link: What's wrong with her?

King of Red Lions: The Internet God punished her for her sins by screwing up with the formatting of the story.

Tetra: And why is that any of our business?

King of Red Lions: It isn't. But we're here to do the warnings.

Toon Link: Okay then. Yuyake no Okami wrote this for the lulz. All of these Gary Stus are completely invented (Except for one, but no names will be said), and if you have a character like one of these please don't flame, don't freak out and don't kill yourself in shame. Can I have an amen?

Tetra: We're not even Cristians, you idiot...

* * *

A is for Axel  
a big bad guy  
with a hot and evil bride  
and a monstrous sexual drive.  
he's an ass to everybody  
and no-one to ever complain:  
the girls are having boners,  
the guys are too afraid  
B is for Buck  
the most famous hunter ever  
of killing wolfos with bare hands  
his lust seems to end never.  
He thinks Link is a wimp  
and said it right to his face  
then, without remorse  
quickly took the hero's place  
C is for Connor  
(the poor assassin now wants to die)  
to good manners and being nice he said happily "goodbye"  
of all his heroic deeds, I don't believe one bit  
he claims to have the fourth Triforce  
(for some reason I doubt it)  
D is for Daniel  
obviously written by a girl  
a mysterious prince, on the dark side  
that actually hides a Teddy Bear inside.  
I don't know you, but for the time being  
I find the guy to be sickening.  
E is for Erman  
the most badass of the universe  
between those who think he's handsome  
there are Zelda, Ruto and the priestesses  
(who, by the way, are not from Ocarina of Time)  
and they want to be with him  
characters of a lime  
F is for Falco  
because men have no imagination  
about the Zelda franchise  
he has little to no information.  
Before you continue this fic,  
I'll tell you something.  
Please, pay attention, write it all over your body:  
the Princess of Hyrule's name  
is not a secret to everybody.  
G is for Gondor  
the strongest Sheikah warrior  
so shady, so mysterious  
and doesn't care about honor.  
With his ninja techniques  
the plagiarism is more obvious than before:  
he's got a Keaton sealed in his belly,  
lusting for blood an gore  
H is for Hunter  
because now that's a badass name  
between murderers and rapists  
he made himself a name.  
A creepy Gary Stu  
in every possible way  
if the author kills him  
he will make my day  
I is for Igor  
because female deities are wimps  
he fights with two great swords  
and protects ladies and kids.  
He defeated Zant with a blow  
and killing Yuga was a piece of cake  
I'll go ahead and join the flow  
in saying the author is so fake.  
J is for Jackesh  
(the God of bad names is now back)  
son of Sephiroth and princess Malon (?)  
he's got a pet dragon  
with long teeth and sharp talons  
more fangirls than Justin Bieber  
and a kitschy fur hat, what is that, beaver?  
K is for Konrad  
and what's with the k fetish anyway?  
The classic macho man  
that sends those who love him away.  
He's a demon (obviously  
and no lady can survive his charms  
he is OP so ridiculously  
I hope in a fire he burns  
L is for L  
like, are you serious?  
this is supposed to be a crossover,  
but it's just preposterous.  
Ryuuzaki is so OOC  
I can't even recognize him  
a pro with the sword and fighting  
not a Hylian? Just let him be!  
Aryll is in love with him  
and Link has no problem with that  
the author needs to hide:  
I just found a baseball bat.  
M is for Magnus  
is this a quote or something?  
The character's a total ripoff  
but instead of the original's charisma  
he has really nothing  
of him and his gigantic sword I'm honestly quite sick  
and no, it's not a double entry  
he spent other three paragraphs  
talking about his dick.  
N is for Nord  
(somebody played Skyrim?)  
a blond, blue-eyed giant  
with boots of Goron skin  
and ivory jewels from an elephant  
he killed with his hands  
I think I know who the author is, but for my sanity's sake  
I'll just hope this guy is one of their pranks  
O is for Owen  
that claims to be a geek  
and then the most he does  
is playing CoD with younger kids.  
Fell into Hyrule from his wii,  
the only Nintendo console he has,  
and even though he's scrawny and half-blind  
every girl says he's some sexy shit  
P is for Parys  
All brawns and brains  
because every hottie is also a little Einstein  
from the description, he is a mix  
of Edward Elric and Alucard from Hellsing:  
(in all honesty I think this is quite horrifying)  
Q is for Quod  
(The stupidest name yet)  
everybody apparently thinks he's so perfect  
sturdy as a Goron  
and with Sheikah blood  
obviously the result  
looks like a troll in ninja garb  
R is for Roy  
(to think I loved the guy...)  
cruelly transformed into a Stu  
by someone passing by.  
Overpowered terribly,  
cocky and annoying he became:  
it's like a Naruto phase,  
just a bit worse and with another name  
S is for Sher-khan  
No, not the punctuated name!  
I already hated it in Sues,  
but here it's such a shame!  
A tiger man,  
for furfags or something  
(and am I the only one who noticed anything?)  
T is for Terror  
(and I'm now hiding in shame)  
I think it's the society  
we should all blame:  
rape culture is apparently a thing  
if this OC means anything  
U is for Unity  
and I thought only Pony Mary Sues had names like this  
the fourth god  
the fourth Triforce  
I think he meant to drown you in feels  
with his selfless sacrifice  
but If I have to be honest about it  
I think he's just pathetic  
V is for Van Hellsing  
And I don't want to know how he ended here  
showed up during Ganon's battle  
while Link was dying of fear  
he says something about voids and black pitch  
and apparently the girls don't mind  
being referred as "my bitch".  
W is for Walker  
pure blasphemy toward Norris  
he's an immortal vampire hunter  
and has a werewolf named Boris.  
As soon as she saw him, Cia forgot about Link  
and he doesn't complain:  
just look at those tits!  
X is for Xod  
a Twili warrior  
armed with magic guns.  
He's supposed to be attractive,  
but the author has no shame:  
he's all sexist puns  
and catchphrases borderline lame  
Y is for Yokai  
(because guys can be wapaneses too)  
that of the pimp knows the way:  
according to the author  
he is the king of thieves  
and has a threesome every day  
Z is for Zork  
finally the last one  
of this walk of shame.  
It doesn't really matter  
whatever the author say  
of the insufferable bully he has the behavior and the face

* * *

A/N: Okay, after the WTF moment from before, now I managed to fix this... I think...

I'll be honest, I liked better the Mary Sue one.


End file.
